naked woman lying on bed during daytime

naked woman lying on bed during daytime
Photo by Maddi Bazzocco

While it’s true that so much of what makes sex great is that electric connection between two people who are into it, sexual exploration isn’t something that has to stop just because you’re single. The same goes for anything you might have been doing or focusing on to become better in bed the last time you were attached to someone.

Not only is it totally possible to keep working on your bedroom game when you’re flying solo, but it’s a way to make really great way to use that energy. It can help you develop a better sexual connection with yourself, too. Here are some pointers for getting started.

Focus on you for a change

There’s a lot of good advice out there that encourages better self-care as a focus when single, but it’s almost always directed at women. It’s a common misconception that men don’t need that and can’t benefit from it, so don’t be afraid to break the mold. 

Men who know themselves well and take time out to properly care for themselves are men who are better at a lot of things. They’re more efficient workers and better friends. They’re better lovers, too, so it’s worth using some of your time as a single guy to get to know yourself better in that regard.

When was the last time you reevaluated what turns you on or piques your curiosity sexually? What was your sexual role like in your last relationship? Were you happy with that role, or do you want things to be different the next time around? Now’s a great time to seek answers to all of those questions.

Upgrade your solo sessions

Masturbation is another area where most men aren’t encouraged to really dive in. It’s generally accepted that men masturbate, sometimes a lot. But they’re rarely encouraged to see it as more than a means to an end, so many guys miss out on what a great opportunity it can be to kick their bedroom game up a few notches.

Try exploring different kinds of physical stimulation or go on the hunt for new erogenous zones to explore. Treat yourself to a male sex toy (like a pocket stroker, to name just one example) to make your experiences more realistic. Then use it to practice lasting longer with edging, experience stronger orgasms, learn how your body responds to different techniques, and just about anything else you can think of. 

Add some Kegels to your routine

Again, Kegels are definitely something you hear about as a way to improve sex for both people involved. However, they’re almost exclusively recommended for women, even though they can be just as beneficial for men when done regularly, as everyone has a pelvic floor.

Strong pelvic floor muscles help lower the chances of developing incontinence issues as you get older. But they also offer multiple sexual benefits, including stronger orgasms and better control in bed. 

And they couldn’t be easier to do. Just contract the same set of muscles you would use to hold in a urine stream or a bowel movement, hold for a few seconds, release, and repeat. No one can tell you’re doing them, so you can get your Kegels in absolutely anytime and anywhere. For best results, aim for doing three sets of ten Kegels every day.

Finetune your fitness routine

If you’re like a lot of guys (and girls, too), you probably already spend part of your single time working on your outer sex appeal and overall look. Well, it’s time you knew that doing this does a lot more for you than simply make you look and feel great. If your glow-up routine includes regular exercise and visits to the gym, then it also makes you significantly better in bed.

Working out hooks you up with increased strength, flexibility, and stamina, making it much easier to perform like a boss between the sheets. And looking better, feeling stronger, and getting healthier pretty much inevitably add up to more confidence, too. Remember, sex is a physical activity, so it pays off big time to get into great shape and stay that way.

Have a hookup or two

Hookups and casual sex aren’t for everyone, but if they appeal to you, there’s no reason not to enjoy a few while you’re single and unattached. Having sex with different partners gives you a chance to reassess your current identity as a sexual being, as well as consider what you really want in a more serious partner.

Just make sure you look after your sexual and emotional health (as well as your partner’s). Always use a condom, be honest with your partners about your intentions, and ensure you have each other’s full consent before playing. And don’t forget to enjoy yourself and have a good time. Being single can be lots of fun if you’re open to the possibilities, so embrace them.

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